Today is my birthday. Here’s us playing my birthday songs from the Year-of-EPs.

Didn’t get me a birthday gift? That’s ok, just go download these songs and all the others at my site and then tell your friends to do the same.

A year ago, I wrote this poem and put it out on the final EP from the Year-of-EPs. The indefatigable Johnny Lurg has been diligent in reminding me to post the responses to the survey. So, here are the unscientific results.

Survey

Question Number One: 
Do you turn the radio off when you’re driving around lost? 
60% “No”/40% “Yes”/20% “My mom does”
In the space between all the things you would do 
And all the things you will do 
How many cars could you park? 
“None (I suck at parking)” 
“27 Toyota Priuses and six red Hondas” 
“Not most”          
“I could park ten cars”
“At least another 50”
What’s your native biome? 
“Suburbia that knows a little urban but I prefer the small towns”
“Mediterranean”
“Temperate forest”
“Fog”
Favorite Food? 
“Chocolate”
“North Beach pizza”
“Good lamb”
“All you can eat sushi and other related msg products”
“Burritos and/or ice cream”
Favorite Song? 
“Wendy” by the Beach Boys
“Something that seeps with warm nostalgia”
“Boyfriend” by Best Coast
“Across the Sea” by Weezer
“I don’t know!”
Actual Favorite Song? 
“Anywhere Is” by Enya
“Awkward Man” by Wahfffles
“Geeks in Love” by Lemon Demon
“Theme from Kids in the Hall” by Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet

Please circle all early-20th-century-eugenics designations 
and mid-90s-high-school-movie-social-hierarchy categories 
that have, do or will apply to you: 
Negroid 0%/Caucasoid 80%/Spazoid 80%/Mongoloid 0% 
Jock 20%/Nerd 100%/Gypsy 40%/Drama Geek 40% 
Slut 0%/Prude 0%/Prussian 0%/Punk 40% 
Hunk 40%/Hun 0%/Goth 0%/Visigoth 40% 
Invisible 20%/Invincible 40%/Indochine 0% 
Chic 40%/Freak 60%/Mozambique 20%/Mudblood 60% 
Adult Disguised as a Teenager 80% 
Teacher’s Pet 60%/Burnout 40%/Brahmin 40%/Bully 40% 
Beggar 40%/Braggart 60%/Bastard 60% 
Adult Trapped in a Teenager’s Body 40% 
Vengeful Ghost 40%/Peaceful Corpse 80%/Dirt 80%

True or False: Eventually the rhythm is going to get you.
True 80%/False 20% 
Do you pay for music? 
“Live or for friends”
“YES”
“Sometimes”
“Only when I feel that my money is making a difference”
“Depends on the artist”
Given the opportunity, would you sell out? 
“Definitely” 40%
“PROBABLY NO”
“Yes”
Are you
“Yes” 
Are you sure about that?
“As long as I can keep having fun!” 
“Definitely, but I know would regret selling out 10 years down, even though I would be shamefully rich”
“Yes” 40%
“No” 20%
Are you going to eat that? 
“You can have it”
“Already did”
“Yes” 40%
How many 
How many times have you 
How many times have you hung up on someone 
And blamed it on bad reception? 
“0”
“A lot”
“A FEW”
“Once or twice”
“I have never hung up on someone and blamed it on bad reception, but I have used it as an excuse to have someone repeat something for, like, the 4th time.”
Are you going to listen to this whole thing? 
“Yes”
“And how”

When was the first 
When was the first time you tasted alcohol? 
“14th birthday with my brother at san jose state”
“I can’t remember”
“When I was in high school, probably.”
“My dad gave me a sip of his beer at a family reunion and I couldn’t believe he liked it!”
“I mistook vodka for Sprite at my first cousin once removed’s wedding when I was eight years old.”

What do you want to be when you grow up? 
“Free”
“I want to play college football with Scott Bakula and Sinbad, when I grow up.”
“A neuroscientist”
“Happy”
“A Donovan”
Have you ever 
Would you ever 
Would you negotiate with terrorists? 
“As long as it wasn’t out of fear”
“If what they had to bargain mattered enough to me”  
“If trolls count as terrorists, then yes, I’d feed the trolls.”
“Yes” 40%

Will you ever 
Will you ever stop? 
“Don’t stop til you get enough”
“Eventually”
“Never”
“No” 40%

Question Twenty-Seven: Do you regret the way you treated 
Your First Kiss 
“I treated her like a queen. A hot 14 year old queen.”
“Yes”
Your First Lay 
“I think neither of us was really interested in trying again.”
“Totally”
Your First Love 
“What was I supposed to do?”
“Don’t know if I can say yet”
“Yes”
D. All of the above 
No 20%/Yes 20%
“I do not regret the way I treated any of them, though in some cases, I probably should.  But I don’t.”

Estimate and Average the following: 
% of your Exes you can still have dinner with 
“100%” 40%/”50%” 40%/”0%” 20%
Fraction of People at your 10-year reunion you will give 
A Fraction of a Shit about 
“85%”
“1/100”
“1/1000”
“1/1560”
“1/10”
Weekly decisions you make out of spite 
“2%”
“50-75%”
“Too many”
“37%”
“0%”

In a head-to-head battle with your 10-year old self, could you win at: 
[80%] Two-square 
[100%] Tether ball 
[80%] Checkers 
[80%] Quarters 
[80%] An argument 
[60%] Life 

Finish this sentence: 
Scale of 1 to 10 
“is used help people rank things of significance using numbers that easily help them create percentages.“
“How much do you hate mayonnaise?  
“How much are you doing it right?”
“9”
“is something you say at a hobby store”

Dot eyes, cross tees 
Fill-in-the-blanks 
And don’t forget to show your work 

Please check all that apply 
[60%] I should be on TV 
[20%] I would survive zombies 
[20%] Everything sucks 
[90%] I am happier now than I was five years ago 
[60%] Punk is Dead 
[40%] Batman for President 
[100%] I deserve to be happy 
[70%] I am an adult 
[80%] I would rather be a cartoon 
[80%] My friends know something that I don’t 
[50%] 9/11 was an inside job 
[120%] I really want to hear about your weird dream 
[80%] I am happier now than I was ten years ago 
[90%] I like myself 

If 
If you 
When you find what you are looking for 
What will you look for next?
“The rest”
“Probably someone to put my penis into”
“Feel awkwardly”
“A job”
“Someone to help”

I’ve got a show this Sunday at 975 Howard Studio in SF so Rebecca and I were listening to the Year-of-EPs to pick out songs for the setlist. This is from the Apple Baseball Suite where we worked with a string quartet. It was rad and I love how the track turned out.

“The Dead End of Western Civilization”

I was going through the Year-of-EPs to find a song to send someone and then I remembered how much I loved recording this track. I should sing like a Muppet more often.

You can download this song for free here: http://dannysaucedo.bandcamp.com/track/the-dead-end-of-western-civilization

I wrote this song in response to this article of the same name: http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html